Once upon a time that was this morning…
I was at the mall with my fiancé when I got a call from my mother. She was calling to complain that when she entered the restroom this morning she discovered my soiled tampons scattered all over the floor. Now, I already checked Google and there were no answers as to why my cats would want to eat and/or play with dirty tampons, only answers as to why dogs would. I have one dog but she sleeps in my mom’s room with the door shut so it had to be the cats.
I started wondering then, why aren’t there any posts about cats eating dirty tampons on the web? Are my cats weirdos? Did I do something wrong in raising them? Is my blood tasty? Are my cats becoming vampires? Honestly I think it’s just them. My cats like to sniff and lick everyone’s feet especially when you’ve been walking around all day sweating in your shoes. Maybe there are others out there facing my dilemma, they just don’t post anything about it because people who own cats tend to be smarter than people who own dogs, in my opinion. I mean, dogs are really dumb. People say they like dogs more because they have more human emotions but that’s totally untrue. Dogs have roughly three emotions, happy, sad, and needy. Cats, on the other hand, are much more complex. They have a whole range of emotions spanning from anger and jealousy to superiority and condescension. Half the time my cat, “Pickles”, looks at me like I’m some kind of idiot and he’s the king of the world.
Getting back on topic though, I think the reason that there are so many posts about dogs eating tampons and only very few about cats doing the same thing is that in the time it would have taken for a cat person to go to their computer and go to some answers website to ask about the issue they realized that there are many very, very simple solutions to fixing the tampon “munchie” problem.
#1 – Get a trash can with a lid for your bathroom
#2 – Roll your used tampons in toilet paper or put them back in the wrapper before disposing them
#3 – Knit some little fake tampons for your kitty to play with so they don’t have to quit cold turkey.
#4 – Just close the bathroom door…
Whatever you do, don’t flush them down the toilet as this will result in clogging of your pipes, duh.
Tampons, I’m talking about the tampons not the cat of course.
Dog people on the other hand sit there wondering, why me? Why does my dog eat my tampons? What am I going to do?! I must go to that inter-web place and ask the magical tampon gods why my dog does this and how I can fix it, because surely they’ll know…
In short, hooray for smart cat people using their time efficiently.
Oh, and in case you dog people are wondering if this can help you at all or if I am just writing this to be condescending and to bash dog people… think about it. Think long and hard. Is your dog some sort of monstrous beast who can bust through doors? Is a lid on a trashcan too much trouble to save yourself from scrubbing blood stains out of the tile and taking your dog to the vet?